Summary
We delivered a programme of day trips, groups, activities and events for parent carers and the children they care for. Some activities were designed to involve the whole family, giving time away from their everyday routines to have fun, strengthen family bonds and socialise with other families. Others were aimed solely at providing a short break away from caring for the parent carer, to allow them to focus on themselves, taking time to relax, recharge and enjoy the company and support of other parents in similar situations.
What Oban, Lorn and Isles Parent Carers’ Time for Me 2023 did
We delivered a monthly group for parent carers and their children at a local café which has a private, self-contained soft play area. We hired the soft play centre with exclusive use, for 2 hours per month on a Saturday. The children enjoyed spending time playing with their friends. The centre is a large, well equipped space with lots of comfortable seating where the parents can sit together and chat. As well as the soft-play, it has two small side rooms, visible from the seating area, with toys and games, so it can meet a variety of needs and give children room for quiet time-outs if they want them. The self-contained, private space means that the children can play freely in a safe and secure environment, which affords them the opportunity to have fun, establish and maintain friendships, improve social skills and burn off energy.
One of our support workers facilitated this group and assisted with the supervision of the children. This allowed the parents essential time out from their caring roles to enjoy some adult company, relax and chat with other parents who would understand the challenges they faced. This mutual understanding is a strong basis for the development of firm friendships. Having a member of the parent carer team attend the group provides an opportunity for families to meet with them in a more social setting than the 1:1 support, which lets the worker become better acquainted with the family group and can strengthen trusted relationships. It has also given parent carers who are not registered the means to make initial contact in an informal way, having been encouraged to come along by existing members of the group.
We ran 4-day trips for parent carers and their families. We involved the families in the planning and decision making regarding these trips. They chose Blair Drummond Safari Park, Landmark Adventure Park, Highland Wildlife Park and Glasgow Science Centre. Blair Drummond and Glasgow Science Centre were the most popular of these trips due to the accessible nature of the venues, as well as the educational aspects. The Science Centre was particularly popular as it provided families with the chance to participate in activities which suited their needs and interests, as well as having quieter areas available for those who required it. There was a great sense of excitement on all of the day trips. We saw families getting to know one another through taking part and newly registered parents being welcomed into the group.
We also ran 2 spa days for parents, at a local spa hotel, with an afternoon tea and choice of treatment included. They enjoyed a chance to socialise and get to know other parents in a very calm and relaxing environment designed to help them focus on their own health and wellbeing without the everyday pressures of their caring roles.
We ran two “Dads’ Days” which were specifically aimed at encouraging the participation of male parent carers, but were open to all parent carers. The activities provided were selected by asking the registered dads and granddads what they would like to do. They decided that they would like to go paintballing and golfing. In addition to providing time out, our aim was to give male parent carers space to find support from other dads. We hoped that time together would help them feel less isolated and the contact might encourage them to access 1:1 support to help them manage the impact of the challenges they faced in their caring roles, as well as promoting trust in our service.
We also ran 6 cinema trips to our local cinema for parent carers and their families. We had exclusive use which meant the families could go and enjoy a film at the cinema without being concerned about negative attitudes to the behaviours or additional needs of their children. This allowed the children to move around freely and safely and make noise without censure, while their parents were able to relax, and enjoy seeing their children having a great time; good for the mental and emotional wellbeing of all.
Despite offering higher numbers of places than originally expected, some activities came in significantly cheaper than we expected when we created our budget. We were given approval to run an additional activity for families in order to make use of this funding. We ran an Easter Fun Day at a local community hub, with Easter themed games, a sensory lucky dip, a bouncy castle, space to run around and play, a ‘chill out’ quiet tent, a place for parents to sit together and chat and party food and drinks. This was a really well received event. One mum told us that her son loves to bounce and it really calms him. She says she is going to look into getting him a mini bouncy castle for his birthday as he was so happy in the one at the party. Another commented, “Thank you for the awesome party, see you next year!”
What North Argyll Carers Centre has learned
This year we made a change in the way in which parent carers were informed of the events and also how the selection process was managed. Instead of publicising the events and inviting all parent carers to book a place on a first-come-first served basis, we asked them to register their interest. We did this as we had found that there was a core group of parent carers who were able to book their places faster than other parents whose responsibilities meant that they were unable to respond as quickly. We then ensured to prioritise those who had not been to activities or had a therapeutic massage in the past. Those who were in a more intense caring role would also be prioritised due to the level of impact their caring role had on their emotional, mental and physical wellbeing. We also ensured to ask the families who we felt were most in need of the benefits of the activities first to ensure that those who would benefit most were given the opportunity before opening the invitation to register interest to the wide group of parent carers.
We have found that the reintroduction of using minibuses to travel to activities has proven to be beneficial to a significant proportion of carers, as this has meant they feel able to go on the day trips. There have been parents who have also chosen to use their own transport as the child they care for would not cope in the environment of a minibus and this also gives them more options rather than having to adhere to a schedule as this may not suit them or their family.
As this was the first year of the introduction of “Dads’ Days” it has presented unanticipated challenges which the staff are now able to account for and adjust for in this coming year of funding. There was a surge in interest regarding the “Dads’ Days” when they were announced however there was an overwhelming number of cancellations leading up to the day of the trips. This meant the trips were opened up more to all parent carers and somewhat diluted the benefit. Through further conversation with parents we are making adjustments to how we offer and run the days this year, so that the drop out rates are reduced and we have reserves lists and contingency plans in case a parent cancels.
How North Argyll Carers Centre has benefitted from the funding
Due to the Better Breaks funding we have been able to support more carers in their caring role for their children with disabilities. Since the introduction of “Dads’ Days” we have had an increase in the number of male parent carers registering; therefore we have been able to offer this group of carers more support. The project has continued to help us to engage with parent carers and the children who they care for in a more informal setting than 1:1 support and we have been able to offer them opportunities for short breaks and social interaction that they would not have been able to access without this support. We have also continued to develop this service reaching a wide range of parent carers to ensure that our service is supporting them in a way that best suits them. The activities which are funded by better breaks also provide staff the opportunity to build sustained, trusted relationships with parent carers and their children so that support workers are able to work better with families to identify pressure points and areas where signposting to specialist support is needed.
The evident benefit of the project for parents is well recognised by out HSCP and this has opened up channels of direct communication with the group. As an example, we were able to advocate for parent carers’ involvement in the development of the Argyll and Bute Neurodiversity Strategy. Through our support workers a face-to-face and an online session were organised recently so that parent carers could contribute the lived experience of their children and their own experiences and expertise as carers for these children and young people. The strong group identity and feeling of community fostered through the project helped to achieve this outcome.
Project Outcomes
Outcome
Disabled children and young people (aged 20 and under) will have more opportunities to have fun, develop friendships and do activities they enjoy.
Results
This outcome was full achieved, as friendships were created at the groups and day trips, which then developed after those activities. Parents have reported that their child’s favourite activity is going to the Go Banana’s group as they are able to meet up with the friends they have made. Since one of the children decided to have his birthday party at the Go Bananas Soft Play and invite the friends that he had made there, others have followed suit or are planning to.
The day trips have allowed the cared-for children to enjoy days out with their family that they would otherwise have been unable to do. The Science Centre, with its interactive exhibits, was a great place to spark the interest of the children and they had fun looking around it with their families. We arranged for the families to meet up and eat lunch together, partway through the day, which gave the opportunity for the children with similar interests to interact, talk about what they had seen and begin new friendships. From those beginnings and others like them, inspired by the other activities we have run, we are seeing children who now go to each other’s homes in turn to play, and parent carers having the double benefit of seeing their children having positive social contacts and getting short breaks from caring while their children are away having fun with new friends.
Case study
We have observed that the project has provided multiple means for disabled children and young people to have fun doing things they enjoy and to create lasting friendships:
The cinema trips during which we hired a screen at the local cinema with exclusive use, were very popular with the parent carers and the children they care for. This was a new experience for many of the children who are cared for, as many of the parent carers expressed that they were scared to take their children previously, due to behaviours that they may exhibit, which would not be received well by other cinema-goers. The parents told us that having exclusive use created a feeling of security and support. They were safe in the knowledge that there would be no judgement and that all present had a shared understanding of the reasons for the behaviours and would be sensitive and supportive. Due to hiring the screen for exclusive use the children were able to move around the room freely and interact as wanted, this resulted in 2 of the cared-for children becoming friends and now when they see each other at day trips and events they will pair up and spend time with each other as they have developed their own methods of communication.
“It was nice not to worry about my child disturbing others.”
“Thanks so much for the cinema today. Kids really enjoyed it and so did I!”
Due to the remote, rural nature of our location, there is a lack of activities for children and young people, particularly for those with additional needs. The day trips that we have delivered have allowed the cared-for children and young people to engage in activities they would have been unable to access otherwise. Travel by minibus removed the pressure on parent carers who do not feel comfortable driving for long distances with their cared-for children, or are unable to drive, and made it possible for these families to have lovely days out enjoying new experiences together. During the journey to Blair Drummond there were two cared-for children who enjoyed doing quizzes and singing songs together and were able to be as loud or a quiet as they wanted without the parent carers being afraid of judgment or reprisal. One parent, when speaking about the Blair Drummond trip, told us: “[name] enjoyed the minibus; we didn’t realise how isolated he had been by taking the car.” Another parent fed back: “He made a friend on the minibus, which is usually difficult for him.”
During the Parent Carer Go Banana’s Support Group in March, we arranged for the local fire service to bring one of their fire engines to the group. We had discussed this with the local fire service before hand and they agreed to do an autism friendly walk through, this included ensuring the children were comfortable with the siren and lights before use and allowing the children to take a turn at using the hose, but in a safe way which included the parent carer accompanying them. One of the cared-for children stated, “I am adding fireman to my list of jobs I’m going to do when I am older.” There was a group consensus amongst the parent carers that this was such a welcome and well-thought-out opportunity for them and their children, as they would be unable to take their children to one of the fire station open days because of how noisy and busy those days are and because of the sensory issues that their children have. The tailored session meant that the activities could be enjoyed by all.
Carer quotes from activities:
“We had a lovely time and [name] is absolutely [tired out] now. He loved the dinosaurs and rollercoaster ride.”
“He made a friend on the minibus which is usually difficult for him.”
“My son was getting ready hours before, he really enjoys it and he has made friends and he feels familiar with the other children.”
“he wants to book a party at the soft play for his birthday and invite the friends he has made at the group.”
Outcome
Carers of disabled children and young people (aged 20 and under) will have more opportunities to enjoy a life outside of their caring role.
Results
This outcome has been fully achieved. The feedback from carers who have attended the groups and day trips stated that these have had a positive impact on their mental health and wellbeing as well as giving the opportunity to access short breaks away from their caring roles. Carers have been consistent in mentioning the positive effect that having access to peer support as well as short breaks from their caring role has had on their wellbeing. There is a sense of community within the group, which is growing due to the strong feeling of a shared experience and willingness to seek, offer and accept peer support. New joiners have advised that they have felt welcomed in and despite some initial anxiety about attending, they have found themselves instantly accepted.
Due to offering a broader range of ‘parents-only’ activities this year, we have seen couples who were each able to find events which were more fitting with their interests; the mothers going to one of the spa days while the dads had a day with the children, and the fathers going paintballing while mum and the children had time together, therefore meaning that both parents had access to individual short breaks activities which promoted wellbeing as well as quality time with their children.
The addition of the 4 therapeutic massage sessions a month has also meant that parents were provided another opportunity to do something that they would find beneficial for their physical and mental wellbeing. The massage sessions have been so popular with both male and female parent carers that we have found that we must prioritise the parent carers who we feel due to their caring roles or own physical health conditions would benefit the most from this. One male parent carer who attended one of these sessions stated, “I feel a thousand times lighter.” Due to these sessions being available both during the week and at the weekend they provide the parent carers a chance to receive a massage at a time or on a day which suits their needs.
This year also saw the introduction of “Dads’ Days”. One parent carer who attended the golf day has since bought a set of golf clubs and feels inspired to take some regular time out, engaging in an activity which is beneficial for both mental and physical wellbeing.
Case study
The spa days are especially popular with female parent carers. We prioritised places for parents who had not had the chance to participate before and both days this year were filled almost instantly upon advertising. Carers appreciate that the sessions take place at the weekend which means informal childcare is more readily available to them. They advise that they love that the spa days are something special, just for them, and they relish the time away from the day to day stresses and worries that caring for a disabled child can entail. More than one carer has stated “I will make sure I am able to come” when informed that there is a spa day upcoming.
At the end of the spa day held in February this year, one of the parent carers stated, “It was a lovely day and nice to meet mums in similar family situations to talk to.” That experience in common brings people together and helps them feel less lonely and isolated by the challenges they are facing. They tell us they often feel guilty about wanting time out and feel out of practice at considering their own wellbeing. The setting, the lovely team at the hotel and the supportive group atmosphere help them overcome this and really take the time they need to unwind and enjoy being pampered.
There have been instances where parent carers only get the chance to meet at the trips or events which are planned by our organisation, because of where they live or the nature of their caring role and personal circumstances. During the second spa day, held in February of this year, there were two parent carers who spent the whole day together as they had been unable to do so since the last spa day they attended in 2020. This time allowed them to update each other on their lives and re-establish their friendship.
“Thank you for today, I really enjoyed it, it’s nice to have time for myself.”
“Having a minibus made it easier for us to go on this trip.”
“It’s good to be able to come along to the group, get out of the house to spend time with everyone.”
Outcome
Carers of disabled children and young people (aged 20 and under) will feel better supported to sustain their caring role.
Results
This outcome has been successfully achieved. There has been overwhelming feedback from all the groups, day trips and events that participation has made a positive impact on the carers’ wellbeing.
The welcoming environment of the group and the sense of freedom to share the ups and downs of daily life and to acknowledge that times can be tough is good for individuals’ mental and emotional wellbeing. Knowing there is space for that release supports resilience and makes caring roles more sustainable. The time to focus on personal wellbeing also reinforces that participants are valued and held and helps to restore self-esteem which can sometimes take a knock when unfounded judgements on their parenting are made by people who do not understand their child’s condition.
Parent carers have expressed that inclusion in groups and trips has strengthened the trusting relationship with their support worker and led them to feel they are able to access the support that they need and are better informed about their rights and entitlements. During the monthly Go Bananas Parent Carers Support Group and any day trips and activities, our Parent Carer Support Workers will use the informal environment to spend time with each of the parent carers who attend so that they feel truly connected with the organisation and a trusting relationship is built between the parent carers and the staff who support them. Staff members also use observations made at these events to identify areas where support is needed and will reach out to individual parent carers after groups and trips to offer additional assistance with specific concerns.
The spa days, “Dads’ Days” and therapeutic massage appointments allow the parents the opportunity to access a relaxing break from their caring role. Most parent carers report that they will at times neglect their own wellbeing due to their caring role and other responsibilities, these activities allow the parents to allocate time specifically for them. A phrase that is often used by parent carers is “I am too busy to worry about me” therefore having these activities specifically focused on individual wellbeing encourages parent carers to do something for themselves. Parent carers have reported that the lasting effect of these activities on their wellbeing make it easier for them to manage the stresses of their caring role.
Feeling “carefree” takes on a whole extra dimension and significance in the context of this project.
Case study
There are many parent carers who, due to their caring role and personal circumstances, are unable to engage regularly however they will attend groups and use this opportunity to listen and to seek peer support from the other parent carers in attendance. Parent X expressed that as well as having fun with their children and enjoying time out from day to day routines, the trips and groups act as a safe space for them as they are able to engage with others who are in similar situations without having to worry about judgement or unsolicited comments. During the monthly Go Banana’s Parent Carer Support Group the parents will discuss the issues they are currently facing or new behaviours their child is exhibiting as a way of seeking support. During these discussions they can be open and not feel self-conscious. There is a degree of healthy black humour about the challenging situations they face, which helps to alleviate the stress and creates bonds between the group. It is good for the psyche, to be able to laugh together about things which are difficult, and consequently this constitutes a meaningful break from the tensions of caring responsibilities. Parent X tells us they really value the openness and honesty in the group regarding the emotions parents are experiencing and has reported that knowing they are not alone in feeling how they do improves their wellbeing. It gives them a feeling of comfort that other parent carers are experiencing the same emotions. The improvement in the carer’s wellbeing this entails makes them better able to manage and maintain their caring role. They feel part of a real community of parents and they look forward to being able to spend time in company with them again, away from the isolating world of managing caring responsibilities alone.
Outcome
Disabled children and young people (aged 20 and under) and their carers will have improved wellbeing.
Results
This was fully achieved. The activities have allowed parents and children to engage in a range of activities, providing social interaction and quality time out doing things they enjoy. This is beneficial to the parent carer, the cared-for children and the wider family group. Parent carers and their families were able to have time away from the stresses of everyday life, enjoying time together, strengthening their family bonds and having fun creating happy memories and stories to share. The access to peer support during the activities has also proven to be invaluable to many of the parent carers and has continued outside of the activities available.
Some parent carers have reported that their children have difficulty making friends and the groups and trips, that are provided through the project, give the children they care for a chance to meet other children who are experiencing the same difficulties as them. We have observed that there are children who will pair up and although it does not appear that they are interacting, they are engaging in parallel play as they will consistently choose the same person to sit beside or play alongside. Parents have stated that this has been beneficial for their children as they are getting the social interaction that they are unable to get in other settings or environments.
Carer comments:
“I feel so relaxed after my massage.”
“Thanks for the group it is nice to talk to other parents.”
“This was the first time I have taken my son to the cinema, and he was more settled than I thought he would be, I could relax.”
Case study
Parent carers have reported that they always put themselves at the bottom of their priority list due to the demands of their caring roles. This has an impact on their emotional, mental and physical wellbeing. Some parent carers have voiced that caring for one or more of their children makes them unable to dedicate the time they would like to their other children. For the Science Centre trip one of the mothers asked if she could bring along her aunt to supervise the cared-for child so that she was able to spend the time she wanted to with her other child. This allowed her to strengthen the bonds she has with both her children in a fun and safe environment and gave the child she cares for time with another family member. This in turn improved the emotional wellbeing of the parent carer and her children.